we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
