A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
