He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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