okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
high people should be assigned attendants
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
