really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize