Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize