I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
