so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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