Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just invented taco cereal.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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