problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I deserve this hangover.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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