This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
