GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
