I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
