Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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