i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
