her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
