i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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