dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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