so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
