Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
