Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
