Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize