Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
