so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
