My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
