How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
