His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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