Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
