He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
