they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
