I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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