they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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