Dual....:-)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
