He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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