i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
