my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
