I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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