the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
