we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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