Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize