I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
