I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
