I wish I could teleport
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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