What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
