I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
