You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
