All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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