she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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