And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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