HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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