K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
