i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
