last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
