Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
