Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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