Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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