sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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