so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
