I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
