member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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