I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
