Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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