I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
