she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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