We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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