Yo dont text me then not text me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
